He wants sex. She wants romance. Sometimes it seems as if our partners are from different planets, as if he’s from Mars and she’s from Venus. In the bedroom, it is obvious that men and women are different, but we may not realize just how different we are. It is only through understanding and accepting our obvious and less obvious differences that we can achieve true intimacy and great sex.
Why Sex Is So Important?
We’re all aware that sex tends to be more important to men while romance is more important to women, but we generally don’t understand why. Without a deeper understanding of this fundamental difference, women commonly underestimate the importance of sex for men and many times judge them as superficial for wanting only one thing.
A woman’s judgments begin to soften when she discovers the real reasons that some men seem to want only sex. With a deeper understanding of our sexual differences based on our historical development and social conditioning, she can begin to understand why, for many men, sexual arousal is the key for helping them connect with and realize their loving feelings.
For many men, sexual arousal is the key for helping them connect with and realize their loving feelings. It is through sex that a man’s heart opens, allowing him to experience both his loving feelings and his hunger for love as well. Ironically, it is sex that allows a man to feel his needs for love, while it is receiving love that helps a woman to feel her hunger for sex.
Sex allows a man to feel his needs for love, while receiving love helps a woman to feel her hunger for sex. A man often misunderstands a woman’s real need for romance and may feel instead that she is withholding sex. When he wants sex and she is not readily in the mood, he easily misunderstands and feels rejected. He does not instinctively realize that a woman generally needs to feel loved and romanced before she can feel her hunger for sex.
Just as a woman needs good communication with her partner to feel loved and loving, a man needs sex. Certainly, a man can feel loved in other ways, but the most powerful way a woman’s love can touch his soul and open his heart is through great sex.
What Makes Sex Great
Ideally, for sex to be great there must be loving and supportive communication in the relationship. This is the first step. When communication works, all the bedroom skills can be most easily applied.
If communication in a relationship is OK, hearing and using the ideas will dramatically increase the passion and quality of sex. When sex gets better, suddenly the whole relationship gets better. Through great sex, the man begins to feel more love, and, as a result, the woman starts getting the love she may have been missing. Automatically, communication and intimacy increase.
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